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Saturday, September 9, 2017

Sex with trans people: is it transphobic to not be willing to try it? The reality of sexual attraction.

         I'm gay, as such, I'm attracted to men. My type of guy is of the strong and hairy archetype: I love beards, body hair and somewhat chubby or muscled guys. I had sex with men before , both as a top (the one visiting) and bottom (the host, preparing a pleasant interior for his visiting friend). Recently, we've all seen Riley Dennis' videos on the topic of sexual attraction to trans people. Riley is a trans woman, and claims that not wanting to sleep with transgender people that transitionned to the gender you are attracted to, is transphobic. Is she right?

Well, I'd say it depends. If your repulsion comes from the fact they are trans rather than their appearance or personnality and you would consider them attractive if they were not trans then you might be a little bigoted.

Maybe you do find them attractive, but the only hurdle for you is that they are not "post-op" that is that they didn't have surgery to create genitalia of their transitionned to gender. That one can be more understandable, if you are a gay man that is exclusively bottom for example, a trans man with a vagina might turn you off, not in terms of sexual attractiveness but sexual compatibility. There is nothing bigoted in this, we often see it in cis gay men, two bottoms or two tops try to get together and it doesn't work. Happens. But if you are , to keep with my example, a gay man and top or versatile, then what is stopping you?

"I don't like vaginas, I like penises"
But do you?
When I go on pick up or dating sites, photos of dicks rarely turn me on. Every guy has one, and most people are average there, nothing exciting for me. I'd much rather know if they are hairy, bearded and not skinny, as that is what attracts me more than anything. As for sex... A hole is a hole as some bisexual says. I wouldn't fuck a woman's vagina, because I'm attracted to men, but would I fuck a man's vagina? Sure, why not? I'd be willing to try it if the trans guy is my type. As for now what I said applies mostly to gay male sex, but the logic holds for just any combination.
Straight men: What do you find more attractive, an hairy bearded FtM with a vagina, or a very female looking MtF with a penis?
As for me, I know my answer.
Women, lesbian and straight: what is more important, intimacy and attractiveness, or matching genitals together?
I know my answer there too.

People are quick to say they are attracted to men or women as a whole, but they are first and foremost attracted to secondary sexual characteristics: body hair, boobs, beards, voice, face shapes, body shapes, height... And when you think about it, it makes sense, genitals are more often than not the last part of someone's body you'll discover, so being more attracted to vaginas than boobs or butts would make no sense. 

This was just a short dose of common sense, try to stay open minded about trans sex. Trans people are people too, you could be missing out on something and someone great. Who knows? -KeLvin